A big blob of time

Time has become blurred, the days go into each other and it all becomes minutes, hours of a roller coaster of emotions. Stress, sadness, happiness, hysterical laughing, anxiety attacks, heart ache, relief, worry.

"She'll be OK" I said. "It's critical" the doctors say. I still say she'll be OK. She has to.
Her sister and father are here. I see the stress, anxiety and panic in their eyes. Well enough having to deal with the thought of losing a sibling, a daughter; they also have to sort out the practical things, school, apartment, insurance.

I have moved. I had to. I'm so lucky to have so many caring friends. I've had the opportunity to stay with many people and I really appreciate it, but I wanted my own place. I wanted and needed the security of my own place, a safe spot. Julia moved with me. It's a thrill, I love her. We love the new apartment! Moved in Friday night, just hours after my dear mother left and my cousin Jemma and her friend Jess came to visit. Not the best timing but it forced me in one way to get back into real life. The fact is that I can't sit in the hospital 24/7, I'm not allowed to see her and the doctors won't speak to anyone but the family. 3 hours is the visiting time we re given to see Jen and of course the family should have every second of that ridiculously short time.

As I sent Jem and Jess away to tourist attractions Julia and I settled in in the new place. It's literally five minutes from Sacre Coeur. It's so beautiful and so big (Paris-wise)! We had a little move-in party Saturday night, the Scottish, Irish and British guys came around (so much easier to just say British but comme tu veux) as well as Björn, Anton and Enrique. We ended up playing poker til 4 am. I'm never inviting you guys to poker again. Especially not Joe.... It was a very pleasant evening, and it's nice to know that life does go on and even though you sometimes feel like you just want to break down and cry you have people around you that make you feel better.

Big dinner table!

My wonderful cousin Jem and her equally wonderful friend Jess

Oh, yes, playing with actual money! I teamed up with Fynn (spelled correctly this time) to increase my chances of staying in the game longer than three rounds. 

School. Uh, just no. I just have no energy for school and know what?! Exams are on Saturday... Wohoo...

Last I just want to say thank you to Celine and Frog in particular for being there for me and Julia.